okeh, it's time to move on.
i really really have to forget zaihan.
like all the time spent thinking about him,
missing him & yadayada shit.
it's so not worth it.
i have never been more miserable.
i'm a happy person,
i'm supposed to be a happy person.
& because of this asshole,
i am who i am today.
ughs.
so you swept me off my feet.
put me down already?
i can't be like this lar.

i realise that i think a lot when i'm alone & have nothing better to do.
which was what i did when i was standing by small mac jus now,
waiting for syazzy & amy.
i thought about zaihan.
the two days we spent together.
i was damn frigging happy k.
& then i started to think, maybe he's gay.
cos he's been single for a damn fucking long time,
& he's already twenty okeh!
& his nights are usually spent with guys.
if that's the truth,
then okeh lar. i won't be so upset :)
aiya. i jus miss him a lot now lar.
& i want my cell back,
zailan probably replied already!
& i supposedly want to move on? wth.
darling izzat,
i'm sorry for calling & calling you when i miss bike rides & the long empty roads,
even while you were watching soccer.
you've been so nice; i can't believe i was actually pissed with you.
i miss you, syam faris & hadi lar.
i miss veronica too.
& priya, lihyuan, nas, nat, ainul, poo even seri!
& taufiq, hafiz, razif, anban.
& mad! omfg. the crap we come up with? hahaha. & so many other people!
i met you two hours ago amy, so not yet :)
they're the kuku brains who i know will always be there.
& i think less about them then zai!
that itself is a big big sin.
i should start thinking about them now.
hoho.
then maybe zaihan thoughts will gradually vanish.
yay yay.
solution found.